confusing and infuriating

I'll start by telling you I haven't heard from the attorney yet, my dad said to give her the week bc she's supposed to call us to take in a check which means she's set up the appointment with the Chief. Clearly this has not happened . . . I'm so anxious, I don't know what's worst, not knowing when and if I'll have my status adjusted or knowing I'm super close to getting my status adjusted.

That isn't the confusing or infuriating part. This one is:

While watching the news during halftime of a World Cup match, there was a preview of a story about this little girl from South America. She was visiting her mom for two months in South America. Her mom was deported and went back to her country, leaving her little girl in the care of her grandmother who's promised to take care of the girl until her mother can come back into the U.S.

It makes me sick to my stomach to think that that could've been me and at the same time it punctuates how insanely blessed I am, and I have never and will never take it for granted. There really is someone out there looking after me and my family.

The story was obviously to further push for there to be some change in immigration. The little girl was about 8, she was explaining what had happened to her mom, being deported and how she was left behind with her grandmother. She asked Obama that he do something so other kids don't have to be separated from their parents and so she doesn't have to be apart from her mom much longer. It's so fucking heart-breaking.

It got me thinking about how messed up the immigration system is, they say that they will only grant access to citizenship to people who are and will be upstanding contributing members of society.

Since I was given voluntary departure when I was a minor, and later deported still as a minor, I cannot be held accountable for my inability to follow through with the situation immigration forced upon me, that's how I'm a shoe-in in the adjustment of status. My mom on the other hand, also given a voluntary departure at the same time as myself has no "legitimate" explanation for why she didn't follow through with that.

How is not leaving her children - it's so infuriating - not leaving her children to make sure they go to school and make sure there is a stable family environment for a healthy development NOT A LEGITIMATE REASON FOR FOLLOWING THROUGH ON A VOLUNTARY DEPARTURE. How in the hell does the government not give a crap about that?!? This shows responsible character! How else are children supposed to grow up to be positive members of society?!?!?!? Had my mom left when she was supposed to my dad would've gone crazy, the only one working, two children, one 15 the other 6! It's preposterous to punish someone for being a responsible mother!!!

We have made many mistakes in our lives, but staying in the U.S. despite immigration orders was not one of them.

See, the thing about being a close-knit family is that when my status is adjusted I will FINALLY be able to work, and my dad will no longer have me as a financial burden. My brother is soon coming to age so he can embark on his money making journey. We will take care of each other like we have so far, remain together physically and emotionally and will make the best of our circumstances. Like we have so far. We never give up, we know what is right in our hearts and that is all that matters, because we are doing harm to no one, so whether government allows it or not, we will make the best of our lives here. With our mother and wife with us.

Thanks for following :)

MUCH LOVE!