True Point of Life

As you heard I went to Tijuana. It happened and I apologize it has taken me so long to report back on the excursion. I had finals and work all weekend and am finally catching back up. Friends have asked me how visiting Tijuana was, others asked me why I had gone there at all.

For me, visiting Tijuana had nothing to do with the place and all about the value of the trip. I personally have no connection to Tijuana, and as most of you know I do not even consider Tijuana real Mexico as it is a place that gets abused by many young adults as a way to bypass U.S. drinking law. I am sure it is no news to anyone that Tijuana is the destination for many people in the U.S. as it is the closest place they can drink before being 21. I have always found that silly as in my family there have never been too many restrictions regarding drinking, great choice on their part because I was more prepared when I went off to college. Back to the focus of this post.

Going to Tijuana was the ultimate ritual to validate my being a resident now. On this trip I discovered how the Hispanic culture travels. There are shuttles that will drive you to Tijuana and back for $30/person. They also have destinations to Las Vegas and San Diego, it was a very interesting experience as anyone growing up in mainstream America would never know the existence of such affordable travel. When the shuttle arrived in San Ysidro (since the shuttles never actually cross the border) my dad and I walked through the border. There were swinging doors we walked through, then some small barricades and there was a yellow line on the ground that marked U.S. Border on one side and Mexico Border on the other. There was a sign that read, "Legal documentation will be required to re-enter U.S. Border". I had a quick flashback to my fear of finding myself in a situation where I wouldn't be able to re-enter this country again and I felt instantly sick. But reality was, I simply walked over a yellow line on the pavement and I was in Mexico . . . there was nothing ceremonial about it.

We were in Tijuana for several hours until it just became way too depressing to be there. I saw donkeys spray painted as zebras, their white paint had turned yellow. The strangest thing I saw was what looked like the entire Tijuana police department parked right outside the Tijuana Cathedral, it was a whole street barricaded off that was lined with a dozen Ford trucks and cops just hanging out watching everyone walking by.

I knew at the beginning of this journey to Tijuana that the thing I looked forward to most was coming back, yes I hadn't even boarded the shuttle and I was already looking forward to returning. This was all just to prove a point, I'm free. I am still looking forward to boarding a plan only to arrive to my real home and see somewhat familiar faces. In reality I know I will hardly recognize any of my family, but knowing that I will see faces that will be extremely happy to see me is what I really want. It is all about human connection in this life, nothing but human connection.

I am happy and thankful that my dad and I made it back safely. Most of all thankful that I attained what brought me pain and countless tears for so many years. I know that there are still a lot of people out there awaiting their turn. I know it's a painful process, but patience pays off. Just make the best of the time that you have here in the U.S. because not everyone is as lucky as us.

MUCH LOVE!!!

True taste of Freedom

Tomorrow I have my final for Microbiology which will be the last class I take at SMC. The day after that, on Thursday . . . I am getting the ultimate taste of freedom. Having attained my driver's license and a real job was definitely a benchmark in that culmination to freedom. I've been talking (maybe not in the blog) but I've been wanting to go to Mexico from the minute I found out I would be getting greenie, it has been 17 years since I was in Mexico.

On Thursday I'm leaving the U.S. I wish I could say it was go to back to see family, unfortunately due to time and money constraints, a trip to Tijuana is all we can afford. Even though I talk about Tijuana not being Mexico, this is going to be the one time I let it slide . . . obviously it won't be the same feeling as it'll be when I hop on a plane and actually go to what was once my home, but going into what is technically Mexico is going to be a hell of a whirlwind. The excitement kicked in today and I have had a really hard time focusing on this class.

I'M LEAVING THE U.S. FOR A DAY!!! It is the ultimate test. There are so many levels to this culmination to freedom.

MUCH LOVE!!!

I'm so excited, I had to get that out there.

Crazy Claw Will be Heard

That was the subject line I misspelled before going to bed last night: Crazy Claw Will be Heard. So despite the disappointment after reading the news that the Supreme Court will hear Jan Brewer's appeal, I at least got a nice laugh before getting to sleep.

I suppose in order to uphold Democracy the court has to give the illusion that they are giving Brewer a chance, so as not to give away their true feelings about how insane Brewer is. Ok, I think Jan Brewer is crazy. I really hope the Court keeps to its guns and turns down Brewer's SB 1070 law. This is a duty that is at the hands of the Federal government, and even though the government isn't doing a great job at controlling the borders, there are bigger problems in this society to complain about all the undocumented immigrants in this country because all they are doing is trying to give their children an opportunity to decent education, a safer life and better prospects. What is criminal about that?

I doubt you are surprised about how I feel about Jan Brewer and SB 1070, but there it is. I am eager to follow how this pans out.

Have a lovely Tuesday.

MUCH LOVE!!!(To everyone except Jan Brewer and all those ignorant people supporting her they will never understand what it's like to have to fight for survival)

AZ back at it

AZ state Governor Jan Brewer is appealing to the high court and urging the court to reevaluate its decision to turn down the preposterous AZ law to give the police force the power to monitor illegal immigration and suspected undocumented immigrants. This Monday, Dec 12, the court will decide if it will hear the appeal or not. Here is the LA Times article, I will certainly keep an eye out for what happens. If you've read previous posts about this law, Arizona is not the only state to have given its internal police force the power to handle undocumented immigration and its victims, Georgia, Utah, Alabama and South Carolina have jumped on the band wagon. Hopefully the court turns down the appeal and finally shuts down these governor's wish to control an aspect of this society that should be in the hands of the federal government.

I'll leave you with that for now, have a wonderful Sunday.

MUCH LOVE!!!

The Emotional Toll of the Half Life

Last week I heard a news report my mom was watching, it was talking about a young man that took his life. He was undocumented, his name was Joaquin Luna Jr., was only 18 and felt he'd never reach his goals in life. According to the information available he wanted to be an engineer and at this point it is impossible for an undocumented student to be unaware of what lies ahead. The obstacles, stress and expenses involved with attaining a higher education without adequate permission for your presence and education in this country.

Back when I was nearing the end of high school I knew of only one other student that was undocumented, she was as frantic about going to college as I was. Personally I didn't become aware of the extent of the obstacles until the time for applications came along.

I am extremely lucky that I never felt like giving up on this life, but I can certainly say that I felt empty, lost, frustrated, scared and impatient. Those of you who have shared some of this life with me heard some of my concerns. I had numerous breakdowns about life and its refusal to change and give me a chance . . . I can definitely understand what this kid was feeling.

I am so lucky. I know that, have always known it. Don't take your life for granted no matter how difficult it may feel.

Enjoy. Live. Love.

MUCH LOVE!!!