I've been feeling suffocated lately. Trapped. In terms of my career and money - what else do people worry about in life? I'm not good for a desk job on paper, they don't pay well, and yet I don't have experience for anything better.
This rat in a wheel feeling is not what I went to college for. Not what my parents moved to this country for. I realize this sounds like I take myself too seriously, but I constantly forget that I just started my life a year ago (omg it's almost going to be a year!!!!) Some of you may be thinking that I'm crazy for wanting to be settled into a successful job at this point (but it's not crazy). I'm so good at fooling myself into thinking I am like everyone else, I've been doing it since I was 8, and therefore I hold myself to the regular person's standards.
The great people surrounding my life right now are mostly younger than me, not that much younger than me, 2-4 year difference. And they are doing so well for themselves. It honestly makes me feel like a failure sometimes. I can't let go of the fact that I'm 25 and not independent and powerful. That's all I always dreamed of. I'm still working on accepting the cards life dealt me. It's going to take me a while to internalize the fact that I'm not like everyone else and accept that in time I will be where I need to be.
This post isn't meant to worry you, we all have life circumstances we have to come to terms with and be flexible. Life will give if you ask.
My time has come. Today, after a day of work with technology and Nutrition Workshop with my internship I checked my email and found a congratulatory letter from TEA (That stands for Teach English Abroad) UCI Extension!! This summer my life is going to change. I feel rejuvenated, purposeful, with a nice spring to my step. I had to blast my happy music in the car on my way home.
Watch out world. I am going to change you.
MUCH LOVE!!!
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