Big Week!

I've been looking forward to this week and for good reason. I started the SOSMentor internship yesterday, it was so great having something that makes sense in my life. Working at my current job only makes sense because it's challenging and constantly evolving but it ends there. I need to make a more obvious and meaningful change in people's lives. As the intern for SOSMentor I act as an assistant to the teacher leading the workshops on healthy eating as well as the one in charge of making sure the program continues getting its funding. I get to make videos, take pictures, collect information, etc, etc. I'll share more as it becomes more involved.

W2 forms came in the mail a couple months ago, it was honestly intimidating. I started asking friends where they file their taxes, how they file their taxes, lots of interrogating. Since of course nothing in my life can be plain and simple I realized I'd have to find someone to do my taxes for me, turbotax was not going to work for me. Finally today I got to searching, and I got an estimate from H&R Block and then another one. The second one won. So today I filed my taxes!!! I'm a real working girl now! I'm very hopeful as I'll be closer to meeting monetary goals for getting certified to teach abroad with the tax return.

I've started writing my Personal Statement for the scholarship I'll be applying for. I've had a couple times where I've changed my mind about getting certified knowing that having this internship I'll have great prospective for a more fitting job, but travelling is a must. I need to reset my mind, my person so I can make better decisions in life. My momentary change of heart about the program was set off by a girl from work leaving to Japan to teach English. A coworker made a hateful comment about how everyone goes abroad to teach English. Writing about this now makes me think that she was jealous, who knows, it really doesn't matter. Everyone has their reasons for choosing their paths in life and it doesn't make it wrong. I'm excited!

I feel that ultimately regardless of what field I end up focusing on, there will be teaching involved. Active teaching. I'm excited.


MUCH LOVE!!

Time Needs Time

I'm sorry an update is way overdue especially since the last post is about me possibly getting Citizenship much earlier than expected. I did a little more digging and it turns out it's actually 5 years. Shame shame on the person who falsely got my hopes up, but it's ok life is still great!

I've been having a lot of free time, that dangerous free time for self-evaluation where I made myself think I'm wasting my time and need to do more. We are our most demanding critic after all. My time needs to be filled with productive, soul-fulfilling activities. On my days off I've been hiking and playing beach volleyball. I still can't get myself back to the gym, but one of these days. I also made some Ninja-speed moves and I now have a Nutrition Internship with SOSMentor. I'll be working at Uni High with an after-school program that teaches kids about healthy eating and proper ways of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I'll also get to do an eating disorders internship which will be once a month. SOSMentor will be for about 15 weeks and I am going to learn so much and I am sooooo excited!

The interview for the internship was today, I'd gotten an email from them a couple days ago saying my resume was "impressive". That made me feel so great! The last couple weeks have definitely picked up and I'm so excited for the weeks to come. I've set several goals for myself and I am finally coming to terms that I need to give time, time.

I've decided I need to travel, so I am going to get my certificate to teach English abroad. That way, I'll get my fulfilling life experience on as well as my travel in. I'll do that for a couple years and then come back and get my Masters, in what, right now it is up in the air whether it'll be in Nutrition or Latina American Studies and MBA. We shall seeee.

Life is beautiful.

LOTS OF LOVE!!!

A New Year

These last 6 months have been the best 6 months of my life yet, I grew and learned so much. Today I found out that instead of having to wait 5 years for my Citizenship it's only 6 months since I got my Residency based on my Dad's status. I just went back and it is going to be 7 months on the 3rd! Wowsers.

Here goes an amazing full year of all-out opportunities. Big move in life to be made this year. GRE. Grad school. Better job? Travelling! Visiting Mexico!!! I've decided I'm going to keep pursuing my nutrition/trainer dream. Life decisions are so intimidating but we all go through them. I've finally accepted and come to terms that it is impossible to make the absolute "right" decision. You have to start somewhere.

I am so excited!

MUCH LOVE!!!

True Point of Life

As you heard I went to Tijuana. It happened and I apologize it has taken me so long to report back on the excursion. I had finals and work all weekend and am finally catching back up. Friends have asked me how visiting Tijuana was, others asked me why I had gone there at all.

For me, visiting Tijuana had nothing to do with the place and all about the value of the trip. I personally have no connection to Tijuana, and as most of you know I do not even consider Tijuana real Mexico as it is a place that gets abused by many young adults as a way to bypass U.S. drinking law. I am sure it is no news to anyone that Tijuana is the destination for many people in the U.S. as it is the closest place they can drink before being 21. I have always found that silly as in my family there have never been too many restrictions regarding drinking, great choice on their part because I was more prepared when I went off to college. Back to the focus of this post.

Going to Tijuana was the ultimate ritual to validate my being a resident now. On this trip I discovered how the Hispanic culture travels. There are shuttles that will drive you to Tijuana and back for $30/person. They also have destinations to Las Vegas and San Diego, it was a very interesting experience as anyone growing up in mainstream America would never know the existence of such affordable travel. When the shuttle arrived in San Ysidro (since the shuttles never actually cross the border) my dad and I walked through the border. There were swinging doors we walked through, then some small barricades and there was a yellow line on the ground that marked U.S. Border on one side and Mexico Border on the other. There was a sign that read, "Legal documentation will be required to re-enter U.S. Border". I had a quick flashback to my fear of finding myself in a situation where I wouldn't be able to re-enter this country again and I felt instantly sick. But reality was, I simply walked over a yellow line on the pavement and I was in Mexico . . . there was nothing ceremonial about it.

We were in Tijuana for several hours until it just became way too depressing to be there. I saw donkeys spray painted as zebras, their white paint had turned yellow. The strangest thing I saw was what looked like the entire Tijuana police department parked right outside the Tijuana Cathedral, it was a whole street barricaded off that was lined with a dozen Ford trucks and cops just hanging out watching everyone walking by.

I knew at the beginning of this journey to Tijuana that the thing I looked forward to most was coming back, yes I hadn't even boarded the shuttle and I was already looking forward to returning. This was all just to prove a point, I'm free. I am still looking forward to boarding a plan only to arrive to my real home and see somewhat familiar faces. In reality I know I will hardly recognize any of my family, but knowing that I will see faces that will be extremely happy to see me is what I really want. It is all about human connection in this life, nothing but human connection.

I am happy and thankful that my dad and I made it back safely. Most of all thankful that I attained what brought me pain and countless tears for so many years. I know that there are still a lot of people out there awaiting their turn. I know it's a painful process, but patience pays off. Just make the best of the time that you have here in the U.S. because not everyone is as lucky as us.

MUCH LOVE!!!

True taste of Freedom

Tomorrow I have my final for Microbiology which will be the last class I take at SMC. The day after that, on Thursday . . . I am getting the ultimate taste of freedom. Having attained my driver's license and a real job was definitely a benchmark in that culmination to freedom. I've been talking (maybe not in the blog) but I've been wanting to go to Mexico from the minute I found out I would be getting greenie, it has been 17 years since I was in Mexico.

On Thursday I'm leaving the U.S. I wish I could say it was go to back to see family, unfortunately due to time and money constraints, a trip to Tijuana is all we can afford. Even though I talk about Tijuana not being Mexico, this is going to be the one time I let it slide . . . obviously it won't be the same feeling as it'll be when I hop on a plane and actually go to what was once my home, but going into what is technically Mexico is going to be a hell of a whirlwind. The excitement kicked in today and I have had a really hard time focusing on this class.

I'M LEAVING THE U.S. FOR A DAY!!! It is the ultimate test. There are so many levels to this culmination to freedom.

MUCH LOVE!!!

I'm so excited, I had to get that out there.

Crazy Claw Will be Heard

That was the subject line I misspelled before going to bed last night: Crazy Claw Will be Heard. So despite the disappointment after reading the news that the Supreme Court will hear Jan Brewer's appeal, I at least got a nice laugh before getting to sleep.

I suppose in order to uphold Democracy the court has to give the illusion that they are giving Brewer a chance, so as not to give away their true feelings about how insane Brewer is. Ok, I think Jan Brewer is crazy. I really hope the Court keeps to its guns and turns down Brewer's SB 1070 law. This is a duty that is at the hands of the Federal government, and even though the government isn't doing a great job at controlling the borders, there are bigger problems in this society to complain about all the undocumented immigrants in this country because all they are doing is trying to give their children an opportunity to decent education, a safer life and better prospects. What is criminal about that?

I doubt you are surprised about how I feel about Jan Brewer and SB 1070, but there it is. I am eager to follow how this pans out.

Have a lovely Tuesday.

MUCH LOVE!!!(To everyone except Jan Brewer and all those ignorant people supporting her they will never understand what it's like to have to fight for survival)

AZ back at it

AZ state Governor Jan Brewer is appealing to the high court and urging the court to reevaluate its decision to turn down the preposterous AZ law to give the police force the power to monitor illegal immigration and suspected undocumented immigrants. This Monday, Dec 12, the court will decide if it will hear the appeal or not. Here is the LA Times article, I will certainly keep an eye out for what happens. If you've read previous posts about this law, Arizona is not the only state to have given its internal police force the power to handle undocumented immigration and its victims, Georgia, Utah, Alabama and South Carolina have jumped on the band wagon. Hopefully the court turns down the appeal and finally shuts down these governor's wish to control an aspect of this society that should be in the hands of the federal government.

I'll leave you with that for now, have a wonderful Sunday.

MUCH LOVE!!!

The Emotional Toll of the Half Life

Last week I heard a news report my mom was watching, it was talking about a young man that took his life. He was undocumented, his name was Joaquin Luna Jr., was only 18 and felt he'd never reach his goals in life. According to the information available he wanted to be an engineer and at this point it is impossible for an undocumented student to be unaware of what lies ahead. The obstacles, stress and expenses involved with attaining a higher education without adequate permission for your presence and education in this country.

Back when I was nearing the end of high school I knew of only one other student that was undocumented, she was as frantic about going to college as I was. Personally I didn't become aware of the extent of the obstacles until the time for applications came along.

I am extremely lucky that I never felt like giving up on this life, but I can certainly say that I felt empty, lost, frustrated, scared and impatient. Those of you who have shared some of this life with me heard some of my concerns. I had numerous breakdowns about life and its refusal to change and give me a chance . . . I can definitely understand what this kid was feeling.

I am so lucky. I know that, have always known it. Don't take your life for granted no matter how difficult it may feel.

Enjoy. Live. Love.

MUCH LOVE!!!

Fences

Today in the LA Times there's an article about the Fence Project. It's amusing to me that a government seriously believes, likes to believe or pretends to believe that a wall will discourage people from coming to the U.S. This project is a waste of money first of all. Second, has this government learned nothing from history? Actually they've proved time and again that they really haven't learned anything from history, as a government anyway.

No wall is going to stop a desperate person from getting what they need. This desperate person is a father or a mother in search of a better life for their family. A wall is the last thing that is going to deter them, these people have lived through things worse than material obstacles. If jobs were available to them in their own countries they wouldn't risk their lives, but not only is there a lack of employment. There's a lack of opportunity for prosperity and security.

A wall is not the solution to this problem. This is like sticking a band-aid on a viral infection. No one take offense to this, I am not calling immigrants viruses. I simply want to illustrate that there is a bigger issue there and every solution the government has come up with is a temporary cover-up. To soothe the tranquility of the extreme conservatives and everyone else who is blindly afraid of immigration and the people forced into this.

Think about it. Discuss it.

A Day for Thanks

Well here I am sitting in front of the computer, cutting and pasting images for flash cards to study for a lab practicum while logging onto facebook. A great friend I had the pleasure of meeting last year posted about how this time last year she was celebrating Thanksgiving with my family and I. She was telling us about the World Cup games in South Africa (that's where she's from) and she'd met some guys that spoke Spanish and they taught her to say some obscenities (because that is always the best thing to learn in foreign languages of course, telling people off haha). She wasn't pronouncing the phrase quite right and my parents kept trying to figure out what she was saying until they finally realized what it was and they were just cracking up for the longest time, I had no chance of ever figuring out what she was trying to say - I have little experience with profanity in Spanish, I'm not trying to play innocent here, I just don't use Spanish to tell people off. Point is, it just hit me.

Today, this Thanksgiving 2011 is the first Thanksgiving to be celebrated being truly free in the country of the free. There's so much running through my head sometimes it's a little overwhelming but all in all being where I am today, makes me so insanely happy.

Those of you who have followed me through this blog or life know this means the world to me. It is Life. I have it. I am thankful. For my family. My Life.

MUCH LOVE!!!